Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas was already a controversial public figure, but 2023 was a brutal year for the far-right jurist’s reputation. Thomas spent much of the year confronting difficult ethics questions that he and his allies struggled to answer.
What emerged was a portrait of a powerful judge who received previously undisclosed benefits from his very wealthy friends, who apparently helped provide Thomas with a more luxurious lifestyle.
It was against this backdrop that The Onion, a satirical outlet, published an amusing item this week. The headline on the comedic item read, “Clarence Thomas Announces 50% Discount On All Favorable Rulings.”
Telling Americans that they must act now to avoid losing out on the chance of a lifetime, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas announced at a press conference Monday a 50% discount on all favorable rulings. “Today and today only, I’m offering half off on tilting any jurisprudence in your favor — all principles must go!” said the associate justice, who went on to list issues including abortion, voting rights, interstate commerce, social media regulations, and gun ownership by domestic abusers that could now be decided at a steep discount.
Just we’re all clear, the satirical item was a joke. It was intended to be funny. There was no actual press conference, and Thomas isn’t actually selling favorable rulings.
But the fact The Onion published such a joke suggested the satirists at the site believe the controversies surrounding the conservative justice have reached a comedic critical mass.
Indeed, they’re not alone. The week before The Onion’s piece ran, comedian John Oliver, who hosts “Last Week Tonight” on HBO, used his program to offer Thomas $1 million a year — and a surprisingly luxurious R.V. — if the jurist agreed to resign from the Supreme Court.
I’m mindful of the fact that it’s folly to overanalyze jokes, but the combination of The Onion’s piece and John Oliver’s segment…
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