We all know someone who constantly seems to be the source of drama. As a therapist and psychologist, I’ve spent 20 years hopping the fence between being caught in the drama and observing it.
“I often have cravings for drama,” one patient, who we’ll call Helen, told me. “I can invent false narratives that end up making me angry with people.”
People like Helen may seem to thrive on drama. But look further, and you’ll find someone who typically feels alone and desperate for control in their lives.
Here are seven toxic signs of someone who is addicted to drama — and how to deal with them:
1. They feel a sense of urgency.
When there isn’t an unrelenting sense of urgency, something always feels wrong to them. So to reinforce the urgency, they create a life that is overflowing with commitments, projects and deadlines.
Even the mundane is filled with this intensity, and the simplest tasks seem heavy and burdensome.
2. They use exaggerated language.
They might try to get your attention by adding escalating words (“extremely bad” versus “bad”) or metaphors (“It was like he saw right through me and I melted into the abyss of space” versus “He ignored what I had to say”).
And, just to make sure you’re paying attention, they’ll perform it with dramatic gestures and facial expressions.
3. They need to be the center of attention.
People with a tendency toward drama rarely stay in the background or on the sidelines. Even when they are able to suppress their urge to be the center of attention, they don’t do it for long.
Being in the middle of larger-than-life action tends to make them feel important.
4. They reenact and retell stories with unnecessary intensity.
Retelling the same emotional story to different audiences allows them to vent continually. It’s common for them to add variations to the original situation, too.
5. They focus on the negative or exhilarating elements of other peoples’ lives.
You’ll often find people who are addicted to drama consumed by what’s happening in the lives…
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