Every parent wants their children to be happy and successful.
The best way to ensure that is to teach them mental toughness as early as possible, according to psychotherapist Amy Morin. Mentally tough children are more likely to have high self-esteem, develop resilience that allows them to stay positive amid challenges and learn from their failures.
That means choosing your words carefully around your kids, especially in stressful situations where it’s easy to say whatever you think will stop a tantrum or calm a worrying fit. Certain words or phrases could unintentionally send the wrong message, Morin says.
“All parents do these things sometimes or say them occasionally,” Morin, the editor-in-chief of Verywell Mind and host of The Verywell Mind Podcast, tells CNBC Make It. “But that’s an opportunity to then teach your kids how you learn from your mistakes, how you can grow and change [and] do things differently.”
Here are seven phrases that parents of mentally strong kids avoid using when raising their children, according to Morin:
1. ‘Calm down!’
It’s never a good idea to tell your children how they should be feeling, even if you’re just trying to calm them down or cheer them up, Morin says: “We want to send the message, it’s OK to feel however you’re feeling. But it’s important to pay attention to what you’re doing with those feelings.”
Instead, try something like this, she recommends: “It looks like you’re really angry right now.”
Help your child understand that it’s fine to feel upset, and gently push them toward an activity you know will help them calm down.
“Teach them what to do when you’re angry,” Morin says. “So instead of throwing something or yelling, maybe you color a picture or you go outside and run or you listen to music for a few minutes.”
2. ‘Don’t worry about it.’
It’s unhelpful to tell kids what to think, even if you’re just trying to allay their fears, Morin says.
“When somebody says, ‘Don’t worry about it,’ our worries don’t automatically go away,”…
Read the full article here