You’ve probably encountered an insecure person at work — perhaps a gossipy coworker or a boss who constantly diminished your accomplishments.
Insecure people are one of the most difficult personality types to work with, and having too many of them can create a toxic work culture, says Harvard Business School professor Ranjay Gulati.
It can be hard to work with someone who overanalyzes all of their decisions or is threatened by your success, but Gulati has some tips.
Red flags to watch out for
The first step to defuse a tense situation is to know how to spot the signs of a chronically insecure colleague.
Insecurity can drive negative self-talk and self-criticism in some, but at work, it can also manifest in harmful behaviors like putting others down to make themselves look more important, or setting someone else up to take the blame for a failure.
Here are the three most common signs of a “highly insecure” person at work, according to Gulati:
- Benchmarking and competing with others
- Seeking out constant approval and praise from their colleagues or boss
- Indulging in self-victimization
These behaviors are all forms of external validation, which highly insecure people need to assuage their own doubts about their abilities.
For example, an insecure person may be overly competitive with colleagues to snag an important assignment, or to earn a boss’s compliment, so they’ll “stop believing [they] are the worst employee on the team,” Gulati explains.
Insecure people who have a victim mentality are “especially dangerous” to work with, Gulati warns, as they lack personal accountability and will often fault others for their misfortune, making collaboration “nearly impossible.”
How to handle a highly insecure person at work
Dealing with a highly insecure colleague requires patience, empathy and clear boundaries for when and how you engage with them, says Gulati.
Harboring negative thoughts about them won’t help your relationship, so you want to strike a balance between…
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