An 85-year Harvard study found the No. 1 thing that makes us happy in life: It helps us ‘live longer’

In 1938, Harvard researchers embarked on a decades-long study to find out: What make us happy in life?

The researchers gathered health records from 724 participants from all over the world and asked detailed questions about their lives at two-year intervals.

Contrary to what you might think, it’s not career achievement, money, exercise, or a healthy diet. The most consistent finding we’ve learned through 85 years of study is: Positive relationships keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. Period.

Relationships affect us physically. Ever notice the invigoration you feel when you believe someone has really understood you during a good conversation? Or a lack of sleep during a period of romantic strife?

So, if you’re going to make one choice to boost happiness and success in life, science tells us that your choice should be to cultivate warm relationships. And to do so, it’s important to practice “social fitness.”

We tend to think that once we establish friendships and intimate relationships, they will take care of themselves. But our social life is a living system, and it needs exercise.

Social fitness requires taking stock of our relationships, and being honest with ourselves about where we’re devoting our time and whether we are tending to the connections that help us thrive.

Humans are social creatures. Each of us as individuals cannot provide everything we need for ourselves. We need others to interact with and to help us.

In our relational lives, there are seven keystones of support:

1. Safety and security: Who would you call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night? Who would you turn to in a moment of crisis?
2. Learning and growth: Who encourages you to try new things, to take chances, to pursue your life’s goals?
3. Emotional closeness and confiding: Who knows everything (or most things) about you? Who can you call on when you’re…