A little over an hour into “Madame Web,” Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson) finds herself in a Peruvian cave with one of the many Spider-People (or Las Arañas) who roam the Amazon in the universe of the film. This particular Spider-Man, Santiago (José María Yazpik), is tasked with facilitating a fairly sizable exposition dump, filling Cassie in on her late mother’s research into the healing power of spider venom – the research that led Cassie back to Peru in the first place – and hinting at the potential power that Cassie may have locked away inside of her.
If you haven’t yet seen the movie, the above might seem like a bit of a convoluted place to start. But the more I thought about it while sitting down to write this, it became clear that this is really the only place to start. You see, a ways into this conversation, Santiago delivers a variation of the core tenet of the “Spider-Man” universe, telling Cassie that when one takes on great responsibility, great power will follow.
For people of a certain age (including myself), this line should be a slam dunk. “With great power comes great responsibility” might be the most famous line in all of comics, and as connected with Uncle Ben’s death as it is, the mere mention of it carries undeniable weight. To Yazpik’s credit, he delivers the line with about as much gravitas as a pseudo Uncle Ben (who the audience has little to no connection with at this point in the film) could muster. But when the movie cuts to Dakota Johnson, it’s not sadness, or awe, or warmth that’s pooling in her eyes. It’s straight up annoyance.
For as hard as she might be trying to hide it, Johnson’s seeming frustration is one of the only constants to be found throughout “Madame Web” – and I must say, I can’t really blame her. From its uneven pacing, to its teeth-grindingly poor dialogue, “Madame Web” feels like a thin parody of a superhero movie at best, a complete disaster…
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