Iris Weinstein Haggai received confirmation about her parents’ deaths in quick succession.
On December 22, she learned that her father, Gadi, had been killed on October 7. Six days later, word came about her mother Judi: She too, was murdered by Hamas on the day of the attacks.
Weinstein Haggai and her family then had an unthinkable decision to make. Could they sit shiva, as is customary for Jews after the passing of a loved one? Judi and Gadi’s bodies were still being held by Hamas.
There was ultimately a small family gathering in Toronto, where some members of the Weinstein Haggai clan grew up and still live. Two virtual gatherings over Zoom organized by extended family followed, bringing together Judi and Gadi’s relatives, friends, students and neighbors from the couple’s kibbutz.
Weinstein Haggai and her three siblings did not participate but watched the recordings of the Zoom gatherings afterward. The stream of tributes of her parents – two “peaceniks” who had been out for their usual early morning walk when Hamas came for them – was beautiful, but also tough to stomach.
“I felt it was very final, and my heart’s – I couldn’t bear that yet. Because I don’t have bodies to bury,” Weinstein Haggai, 38, told CNN. “To hear people talk about them, and kind of like a shiva, kind of like a ceremony – to me, it was hard. And I couldn’t really join that.”
Andrea Weinstein, Judi’s younger sister who lives in Connecticut, traveled to the small family get-together in Toronto. She recalled that a rabbi who was present appeared to be at a loss at one point. He told the family that he had searched for a prayer that would be fitting for the moment but had difficulty finding one.
“Is there a prayer for this?” Weinstein recalled…
Read the full article here
